Self, Serving.

I,

I, have a problem with that word — I. It is also a a difficult thing to write about. How do I, have a problem with using the word, I. I, again, will have to use the word, I, to say, I, have a problem with using the word itself.

To even say, I do not know what the I stands for, what it is, what it means, what it implies. I, still have to use it, and by doing so it makes it difficult to shed the idea of what the word, I, encompasses. It almost sounds like shifting from one definition to another but never really having no definition of what I, is.

I, think that is what I wanted to say.

There is nothing else to say about, I.  There is nothing to enjoy about speaking and talking about myself.  This might have come across to those that follow on twitter — going for two weeks without tweeting.  I, again there it is, will tweet, I just do not know when.

It appears, everytime I get off the micro-blogging site (as in: twitter), I find myself with a lot more to say and much longer narratives I conjured up in my mind.  When I am on it, I think and contemplate shorter narratives, almost as if, I am trying to fit my thoughts into 140 characters (as in, a box).

It is limiting, as I find myself, re-thinking the same things over and over again, almost to say, I never conclude a chain a thoughts.

Yes, I think that is what I do not enjoy about twitter —

Never closing an argument — always never enough space to exchange the thought and thus one tends to end a debate/discourse just to end it, without a conclusion.

A case in point is this, essay, I had initially wanted to write about the 'I', but that lead to narratives and twitter.  If I was to only tweet that, where would I have gone? How many would have understood the underlying reasoning.

… I —damn it — suppose then it makes sense to, ahem, tweet about what your are doing, where you are, who you with, e.t.c —which is exactly the things that inflate the ego, the I, that I am trying to avoid.

That aside, how do I get rid of using the word I?

Anybody know?

 
self, narratives, twitter
#01

Ah, I am not the only one — http://crashinglybeautiful.tumblr.com/post/5615174174/if-i-consider-my-state-right-now-i-see-that-i ( Jeanne de Salzmann : http://www.realityofbeing.org/ )

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  • lebogang
    nkoane
  • 03h59, Thu 19th
    May 2011
#02

Hello there Lebogang. I wondered where you'd been. Here's my two cents: no, you can't get rid of the I as in the word, the concept. But "you" can stop believing in it.

By the way, did you see this article? http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/22/magazine/the-twitter-trap.html

"The most obvious drawback of social media is that they are aggressive distractions...Twitter is not just an ambient presence. It demands attention and response. It is the enemy of contemplation...The things we may be unlearning, tweet by tweet — complexity, acuity, patience, wisdom, intimacy — are things that matter. "

#03

Hello, Katherine.

I like that: "but you can stop believing in it."

I will work on that — I suppose in a 'relative' context, the "I" exists to make sense of the world.

Ta! for the NYT's article; It has touched on a few things I have been thinking about. Strangely after I had stopped 'tweeting', I have had more conversation with people in private (via IM or in person). I enjoy that more.

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  • lebogang
    nkoane
  • 13h17, Sat 21st
    May 2011
#04

Ha, and you blogged an answer: http://sharanam.tumblr.com/post/5712233262/sometimes-zazen-by-itself-isnt-enough-for

Merci.

  • lebogang
    nkoane
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  • 18h17, Mon 23rd
    May 2011
#05

Lebogang, so glad you found both the article and the quote relevant. Though I had been holding on to the last David Loy gem from that interview for a while, when I read it again and decided to post I was certainly thinking of you. Yes, I particularly relate to the importance of the physical world. Wish we could make the face-to-face connect too! Hope you are well today.

#06

Ah, :-)

I am good-ish today, work and time not in sync, but I'll be fine.

Again, thank you very much.

  • lebogang
    nkoane
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  • 22h13, Tue 24th
    May 2011
  1. , , confirm
  2. that this is my and you
  3. can find out who I am from this
  4. With that said ,
  5. is what I wanted to with you. — and yes, please