archive :01.1 :3
  1. 01

    without a plan

    this entry (or rather this essay ;-) was not planned, don't know if you have noticed, but I want keep a one essay per week type entry, on this journal (or rather book).

    But, the events at 75, got the hair on back raised --- the humility and humbleness of being part of something.  You know it's easy for me to gloat about 'yeah, that's my shit, this and that' --- but to be honest, 75 is no longer mine, and that is the holy grail I've been silently aiming for.

    I've now, then become a slave to it, because it is bigger than me, it is beyond me, it is fantastic.

    Although, the fact that I am broke (still am) brought about a near collapse of the project, it made me realise that this Growth Project needs to be handled differently and a change in execution is in order.

    Matome argues a whole lot for 'execution', but, I fear my friend you neglect that it comes with requirements or resources, without the right resources (money, human, spirit, talent, time), it is futile to execute.

    So, for the next 3 months, I will be going into a 'capital' generation mode for all projects, this has the consequence that most project development cycles will be stalled, but I'd rather have capital than projects that cant be seen because the 'server' is not available.

    Alas, I am humbled by the events on 75, there is indeed love.

  2. 02

    the new year

    and no, I am not going to say it's thousand and great --- I find the phrase too cheesy for the potential this year has --- this year is that year.

    Cast that stone --- the phrase came to mind as I was typing.

    This year. Will be one of the corner stone years, that one will look back on half way down the line and say,

    those 3 to 5 years of doing this and that have amounted to this year.

    I am mad inspired, feeling good, feeling great.  I am mad excited about the (n). project.  I am mad loving 75, more so what people feel about it, it's bloody awesome.

    I am excited about the prospects of Studio83 (even though Gorgeous don't listen), I am more excited that S83 has now allowed me to work on the design (the web site that is), don't get me wrong KOTN did mad justice to it --- amma just elevate it.

    Gusto, live your life with it. Word to moms.  As I type this, I am 30% percent done with it --- I can't seem to get  to the end, can't wait to finish it --- it will change what we call 'blogging'.

    A few minutes ago, I was rolling with Umdabu --- listened to his 3rd un-released album --- mad ideas happened in 10 minutes --- I am excited about that.  ICE+BLOK Sessions are now truly going to happen, I've just found the soundtracks for the sessions, word to moms!

    Last night, I was with Sizzla The Kingrat --- he has silkscreen equipment, you know what that means, that illusive t-shirt dream called Apara, Skippa, is now starting to clear itself into reality.

    This state of mind, is all because of a young woman I spoke to just before I left for Cape Town.  I said to her, the reason why most of the things I want to do never get done is because life gets in the way.

    She replied:

    ... then you need to get rid of the life that gets in the way of the life you want to live.

    Amen, Sister.

  3. 03

    Anonymous

    I think this is the second time I am writing about this.  I know somewhere within my alter-ego psyche, I want to be celebrated, I want people to acknowledge who and what I am, but, my ego, does not agree.  I love the idea of being perceived as an underdog, a nobody.  That gives me room to manoeuvre. 

    I also think it was also the reason why Away* was away.  I enjoy talking, I enjoy dropping my 2cents on anything that I find interesting to talk about, but it does not mean I enjoy the sound of my own voice.  I have in the past recorded it, I think I sound more silly and with a deeper voice than what I imagine I sound like.

    For as long as I can remember my mother has constantly said to me, Lebogang, you would make a good politician.  I have refused that path, and still do.  I do not think I have the language capability to politic, I can argue, but arguments don't really win you an election, they might influence it.

    So where am I going with this.  Well, being anonymous is dope, its very dope especially if you are at the same time doing some good shit on the underground, below radar.  But, once in while, or rather at some point you become mainstream, not of your doing but because people end up loving what you do.

    I don't mean to brag (well, I suppose starting a sentence like that means, I am actually bragging about something.  It's like that phrase, "honestly speaking...", I mean, hell who want to listen to somebody who sometimes is honest, that means in most cases they are lying, any I digress...), but my name keeps coming up when I don't expect it to, and I get surprised and reject what ever it is they are giving me accolades for.

    Like yesterday a friend of mine I had not seen in about 6 months, says to me, "Yo, your photographs on Studio 83 are dope son!".  Here is the thing, he has never been to SinahNtholiNkoane, that surprised me. I don't even market any of these two sites, Away* and SinahNtholiNkoane, at all.  In fact if I was to meet you somewhere, and you knew I ran SinahNtholiNkoane , you would have to bring it up, I never bring SinahNtholiNkoane up, not even the closest friends of mine (all nine of them), don't visit SinahNtholiNkoane that regularly, except for Matome for obvious reasons.

    Are you following what I am saying?

    I think I lost myself.  Alas, to explain why Away* was away, was because I am/was not sure if I want this to be like SinahNtholiNkoane .  I do not thrive on 'being celebrated'.

    Alas, I just finish my first lecture for today.  New students, new minds, new ideas, a new take on life.  That is what I love about teaching.  You know that cliché about, "... the teacher never teaches anything, but learns from his/her students." It is true, but, yes the teacher teaches, but he learns more from the students, that what each student individually learns from that teacher.

    Now, about revolt.  It will continue.  I just have to drop that silly thing called wordpress.  I have also removed it from the Gusto-Projects main page, I will only bring it back, once, it is ready to be read.

    Alas, I gotta continue work on Half.  Till the next double-click.

    Word. 

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