z.
How often does one come to realise that:
the dream is dead.
this marks my first time.
All I dreamt about yesterday, was what I was going to say today, right here, right now. The dialogue in my mind was clearer when I was trying to sleep than it is now, when I am trying to deal with the reality of it.
at the core of my monologue (thoughts are monologues no?) was the realisation that, even after all:
money is the root of evil.
and I mean evil not in biblical sense of the word, but evil in that it is not good. I'd like to think all my ideas were inherently good or trying to do good.
when I was just about 22 years old, my mother said to me:
all your problems [lebogang] are easily solved with money.
and that is very true. I am in this situation because I do not have the funds to keep the dream alive. The irony is, I will have the capital come July to continue the dream, but it will die for at least a month.
some would say, maybe its time for another dream to rise. Well I say:
Fuck it, I'm done (a80b6fb098a5627be3dea7097f300f0d1be5093e)
I spoke to my sister, she says I need to take June off. I think I will do that. If after that I am still interested and still keen on this dream, we shall create it.
I would be lying if I said this dream has been fun, it has made me a worse person than I was when I started, at least then I had the drive, resolve and passion to do whatever and I believed it, but now I am man who has come to realise dreams die.
ain't that a bitch.
What is this dream? A few words explain it better than I can put it to words:
don't get me wrong --- none of these ideas will die, because of my current state --- if and when I do return and still believe in the dream we will continue.
I will not be leaving this dream to seek employment (fuck that). I will continue running my business, 2LMN R+D, I still need to eat, sleep and be clothed. I have not lost my mind, I have lost only a dream.
Maybe, just maybe, it may be that I need to reflect on all this that is about to happen, and see just maybe, I may be a different person with more interest in the dream than I am now.
1ove, (un) done.
I will not be leaving this dream to seek employment (fuck that).
(bow)
Mokhonoana
May 2009
"all your problems [lebogang] are easily solved with money." -
well this doesnt necessarily when you have money - when you have money your problems are love, companionship or trust and those are the things money cant buy
George
May 2009
is that true: "things money can't buy" --- or is that something us broke/poor people say?
I'd like to have a shit load of money and experience that for myself --- in a way I don't agree, until I can prove it.
nkoane
May 2009
Whoever said "money is evil" was definitely one of us broke souls.
Yes you can acquire wealth through evil doings. But who's being evil here? the person or the money?
I say the hustler not the money.
If a poor person does 'evil' things to get money for their education, do we now call education evil?
Mokhonoana
May 2009
Well, it's that Newtown's theory of relativity no?
What is evil and what is good. Surely the different sides in the proverbial: terrorism; are both doing some good, whilst the other is evil.
But, note, I did not say money is evil: I said, it's the root of all evil.
Or rather it should be: it tends to get wo/man to do evil things relative to the good they could do with it.
Something like that,,,,
nkoane
May 2009