I think, my days of trying to fight the good fight are done. I no longer think I have the resolve to fight the good fight. My discontent with the state of the world, shall remain something I will remember in my old age as something I could have tried to change.
The battle, the war, the fighting is over.
One could argue what the fuck has I done, well, nothing really. I have never really been in a fight, even physically, the last time I was in a fight was around 1986/7, a long time ago. I do know how ever, that I can argue my arse out of a g-string.
The closer, and closer I get to the age of thirty, the more and more I am beginning to believe, that I am not young any more, I am no longer what you would call, the 'youth'. I think my discontent, my angst has no relation to what the 'youth' is after or what their issues are, more so, I don't think the youth has acquired the intellectual capacity that I am willing to engage in discourse with. Nothing worse than arguing with an ignorant person, it's a waste of time, my time, with the life expectancy of a black man at 65, the next 35 years are meant to be better than the previous 30, no time to waste.
In a few years, I am going to have to worry about things as trivial as what school is my child going to go to? When is my next digital exam? My battle lines are being erased.
I don't agree with the phrase, 'if you are not willing to die for anything, you will fall for anything." I would like to say, "I want to fight for something worth living for, not to die for."
I think, I have come to terms with my reality, I am not a fighter, I am not freedom fighter. I'd would love to say, I am a revolutionary, but that, only happens post-mortem. I will focus on what I do best, be a teacher.
What does this have to do with being revolutionary? I am not quite sure. There was a debate about black+blogger(s) and black representation, yada yada. Based on how that discourse started and ended it lacked the revolutionary mentality of taking up issues and fight for what you believe. A lot is discussed but a lot is not digested, if you get what I am saying. Is it not easy to argue representation, but harder to actually represent? It takes a revolutionary to do that.
To represent, is to encapsulate the fears, the issues, the ideas, the dreams, the aspirations of your constituency, whom of us, can claim to represent the youth, more so the black youth. Is it not then true that our issues, are ours because we are the bridge between Apartheid and Democracy, is it not only us with the fears of loosing Democracy because the next generation does not care about it? Who are we to dictate to them what matters to them, when we have spent years fighting a regime that was dictating who we were?
In short and in Ebonics, I don't give a fuck anymore. The baton has been passed on.
Aluta, continua, au contre comrade.
